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Afterimage Companion (45): The Weekend Check-in

Afterimage Companion (45): The Weekend Check-in

Akiko Mega
Afterimage Companion, Self-Awareness, Life

Welcome to the Afterimage Companion 45 on the The Weekend Check-in.

If you’ve come from the newsletter, please skip down to the Practice section. I’ve covered the intro with you in the newsletter :)

The Weekend Check-in is a relic of something I started with my daughter’s dad when we were in the thick of our divorce. It was an attempt to contain the hard conversations around time and money, and minimize the amount of time we spent in direct conflict.

Today, it’s just my daughter and me. It’s still a way to contain potential thorns or differences in approach around operations at home, but it’s evolved since the early days.

The most significant change evolved from a transactional swap of schedules and reading our spending and savings aloud to something more connective and interdependent. Today, it's a check-in, looking back and looking forward together, reflecting and seeing where we are based on aspects of the week, from both qualitative and quantitative perspectives.

It’s a powerful way to understand what’s behind our behavior and a way to build collaboration.

Practice: The Weekend Check-In

Photo: Charles Deluvio. In our last check-in, my daughter noticed she was on TikTok for 3 hours a day. A thousand hours a year. Her uncle helped her to imagine what she could do and who she could become in a matter of a thousand hours.

This practice offers families, couples, and you a chance to listen, be heard, and be understood by each other. It allows us to co-regulate as we step over the threshold of one week into the next.

It also clarifies and helps align the logistical expectations, criteria, and specific support needed for each person to create a fulfilling week.

INSTRUCTIONS

Set aside 30-40 minutes in the beginning. Choose a time when you are energized and free of distractions and outside obligations. Turn your devices and any media off. Come to the meeting with a warm drink.

My daughter and I meet on Saturday morning after breakfast to kick off the weekend and give ourselves time to prepare for the coming week.

The meeting will evolve. You will add the questions that matter to you to make this a connective experience with your family or partner, and yourself.

Script

Looking back: This past week,

  • What’s the biggest thing you learned last week?

  • What went well?

  • What was hard?

  • On the question “How can I work on myself this week,” how did each of us do?

  • What did you feel grateful for?

Each person shares before moving to the next section.


Then, looking ahead: This coming week,

  • What word describes the week you want to have? Write it down.

  • What will make this week (word from above)?

  • What do I want to commit to make that happen?

Each person shares before moving to the next section.

Followed by:

  • A review on money: on my spending and forecast. Spending is a show or a vote of what mattered to me. How did I spend it / how do I plan to spend this week? How much do I want to share with my future self?

  • A review on time: on schedules and what I want to spend my time on. How did I spend my time last week? How do I choose to spend my time this week? How does this connect to making this a _____ week?

  • A review of kindness/respect/responsibility/(add or replace any values important to you) towards ourselves, the spaces we occupy, and each other.  

Each person shares before moving to the next section.

Closing:

Repeat what would make the coming week (your word for the week) and ask

  • What might get in the way?

  • How can we support ourselves and each other to make that happen?

Then, end with:

  • How can I work on myself this week?

  • What did I appreciate about you the past week?

Thank everyone before starting the rest of your day.

Some modifications for check-in with teenagers or when the relationship is tense between partners:

  • Message each other the time and spending review, and anything that is quantitative, before the meeting. During the walk ask each other, what’s the biggest takeaway from writing this down? Listen.

  • Go on a walk and ask the connective questions. Walking is proven in studies to increase creative ideation, as does looking forward at a moving landscape. Walking side by side, rather than face-to-face helps to minimize anxiety in interactions, if any.

(End)

Let me know what happened for you in the meeting. I’d love to know.

No Taming Wild Mares
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